Niche: A comfortable or suitable position in life or employment.
Why have I started this post with a definition? Because metaphorically I am looking for one. Since having my second wonderful addition to my family, I have found that now, more than ever I have somewhat become lost. Lost in myself. Don’t misunderstand me, I L O V E being a mommy, every single second and everything else that comes with it, however, as I have written before, it is important to not let motherhood purely become your identity, as it’s from there I have learnt and seen in other people, things have started going wrong. It is important to never forget who YOU are, what you love and what you are passionate about.
aside from being extremely passionate about my wonderful family and my children am passionate about many weird, wild and wonderful things, yet lately I find I do nearly none of them. Not because anyone is stopping me, but somehow because I seem to subconsciously make a choice to not do so otherwise I am sure I will feel a guilt for doing something for me. #motherhood #fatherhood #iknowmyhubbyfeelsthesameway.
Another reason to why I’m not doing things I love (including my husband) #sorrynotsorry is because as a new mother to 2 little wonders, one being a toddler and the other being a newborn it is so hard to find the time. WE hate leaving our children with other people, it just doesn’t feel right to do so, as until today I never really felt I could trust anyone with my children.
So where does that leave me?
- feeling sometimes sad & frustrated, followed by guilt because actually my life isn’t all that bad and I have a wonderful family.
- feeling unhappy with the way I look because it’s been 6 months since I last saw the interior of a gym.
- feeling like I’m room mates with my husband because we’re so busy we forget that finding time for each other is important too.
- feeling as though I’ll never be passionate about anything except for my children ever again.
Then suddenly, like a ray of light, I woke up, I or maybe I should say we – finally got the chance to speak about it and realised this wasn’t what we wanted. Sure we’re doing a great job as parents (or so I hope we are), sure we work hard, bringing money in, keeping a clean house, raising a healthy, happy, family. But what about us? What shall we do for ourselves. You see the problem here is the possibility. Let’s take simply TWO things I love which I managed to maintain with my new SAHM lifestyle the last time I was on maternity leave. I loved the gym and then it was something I would really connect with my husband about, we’d swap gym stories at the end of a long day, evem though we almost rarely/never got the chance to go together since having a baby. Nowadays I don’t get the time to go to the gym. I can make the time e.g. get up at 5.30am, I am truly that dedicated, yet for some reason in Romania I can’t find a gym that opens early enough for me to get there and grab a quick workout whilst baby is sleeping. Then at the end of the night it’s almost like we are so separate we rarely had anything left to talk about. Of course, love prevails all, so we decided to find something new.
Find a new niche, a new passion that we both share and that we can both carry out alongside raising alone (alone together) two babies. So we did! We actually found not one, but two activities that we will start this week and they go hand in hand. We hope we’ll be taking them far. Being amateurs together should be a fun journey and I hope that in a year from now I will be progressing and excelling as I imagine. I cannot wait to share with you, my beloved readers, on my beloved blog my new found passions. Everytime I put something before writing a blog post, I miss it. It’s my outlet and I love to write to you, yet for some reason I never was making time. However, I will – and I will be posting pictures soon of everything new I’m upto and onto this new journey in fitness that I’m embarking on!
X O X O X