When love isn’t enough.

‘Love is all you need.’ – We commonly grow with this idea that especially where marriage/ partnership/ couple life, is concerned, then love is the answer to everything. In the general sense this is true, if you truly love each other then you’ll get through everything. In another sense this is false. Many of us innocently don’t seem to notice or realise that when falling in love we put so much effort in order to show the other half that we love them, yet when we’ve completed a ‘formality’ e.g. getting married, we forget to put in the effort or we believe that now we are one, surely that is it and we are set for life. Nothing could be more false than this.

I found myself slowly turning from the wife to the room mate. After 2 children, my husband working a hard job and almost 0 help from any exterior resources we found that although our love never died and we still love each other dearly, the spark was fading. We no longer did the intimate things couples do, we no longer took showers together or ate dinners together. We no longer baked together, talked until late hours of the night whilst drinking a glass of wine together (I like sweet, he likes dry and we always used to dispute over which we would drink). We lived in denial like this for maybe a year, slowly, slowly, fading apart, until we were merely co-habiting together. We always messaged each other and kissed each other goodbye, I’m not sure if we were in denial or we both just purely didn’t realise, until the revelation came.

A Saturday morning we went to central park for an ice cream, my daughter was snoozing in her sling whilst my son was playing on the slides with some friends he’d made – he no longer needs or wants us to play or our assistance on things at the park. My husband suggested that we sit on a bench whilst he played and so we did. After we’d sat down I realized that we’d sat so far apart we could have been strangers, even stranger we made NO conversation. I was watching the children play around me, absent mindedly checking my phone and so was he. To my dismay tears bit the back of my eyes as I realised we really didn’t know what to say to each other, we’d forgotten how to make a conversation concentrated on us, unless it was about the children or our plans for the day or something routinal. I think at this point realisation had hit him too as in our awkward silence we fidgeted, each one waiting for the other to speak first.

Anyways, the awkward silence was never broken by one of us, but my son, as we continued our day, I had no idea what was going on in his mind, I mean I didn’t feel like I really knew him anymore, but I knew that I felt heartbroken and full of despair for the rest of the day. Now you see, this is the part where I say it’s love that does truly only matter, he must have been feeling my vibe and my energy or he must have felt the same way as that evening two glasses of wine were waiting for me on the table after the babies had been put to bed. We spoke, we spoke and we spoke. We spoke about all the things that had led us up to this, we spoke about all the changes we had to make and we spoke about how we never dated anymore.

I realised at this point that you should never take it for granted that you’re married or in a long term relationship, you should always treat the person and show them hoe you feel, because we may never know where we’ll be tomorrow, yet we should make the present day a beautiful one, one full of love, it is important to prioritize yourself and your love sometimes, no matter how busy life can get. So from that evening we made a promise to each other. We promised that even if we didn’t get to go out anymore we’d at least do something we loved together at home at least once a week, whatever that may be. It’s important to love, laugh and have fun with your other half, it’s important to reignite the fire every once in a while. It’s important to put the effort in letting them know that you love them. 

So as my mid – week wish to my readers, tell the person you love that you love them, kiss them and enjoy them. Work, money, material and responsibilities are of course important in our lives, yet at the end of the day what is more important when we are old is the sweet memories we will make with our loved ones. Enjoy the rest of your week and don’t forget to enjoy it with your favourite person too, because you know, sometimes, just loving, just ain’t always enough…
                 ⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️❌

 

 

Aryana Lorena Moldovan

April 1st 2017, the day our lives changed yet again & a day which we will truly never forget…

Lately the weather hadn’t been so amazing, however, that specific Saturday morning it was sunny, bright and warm outside. I picked up my phone, checked my diary to see what I had planned for that day. Yep, of course as always my diary was full for Saturday of little things that I had to finish/buy before baby made it’s appearance as there were only a few weeks left. As the boys woke up and me and Mihai were talking about what we had to do today, I had a true F*#K THAT moment and I decided to clear the schedule until Monday and we instead had decided that for the whole weekend we were just going to spend time as a family, maybe fulfill last minute desires (like eating as many doughnuts as I want in one sitting) and nothing else but fun. And so, our ‘fun family weekend’ began.

The house was spotless and disinfected from top to bottom from my weeks of nesting + my OCD, if you know us, you’ll know we are somewhat ‘clean freaks’ – that is what you call people like us right? So there was nothing to do a 9.30am except to get dressed and head to starbucks.

10.00am: Arrive at starbucks, get a Soy Macchiato, a normal macchiato, Ayan’s usual doughnut with pink marshmallows and a bottle of overpriced water…I will never understand WHY my son is obsessed with the bottles of water specifically from Starbucks when I can buy him the EXACT SAME water from any other store, but anyways… Sip our coffees, take some selfies, or atleast I tried to with Ayan, it’s quite tough with a toddler, then we decided to do some shopping. Post shopping I decided I needed a rest and that the rest would be in the car on the way to the NEXT shopping centre (Vivo City).

12.00pm: Arrive at Vivo City, I decide that I want to eat KFC + a doughnut from the Donuterie, promising myself of course that from tomorrow until I give birth I’ll eat healthier so that I have the energy to go through the birth process. Feeling super massive now, we finish off some shopping and head home.

13.30pm: Arrive home, Ayan is taking a nap and I tell Mihai that we simply MUST watch a movie together with some more junk of course, so of course we put a movie on. Halfway through the movie I’m feeling a little uneasy and out of breath but I just assume it’s because the baby is squishing my lungs or something like that. I start complaining and so we decide to turn the movie off and just chill. So yep, chillin’ together, everything is good, then my husband decides he wants to cook steak and sweet potato mash randomly on a Saturday, so as he makes second lunch? Pre-dinner? Not sure what you’d call it, we eat so much, I’m playing with Ayan and eating more things I can find in the kitchen. We eat, it is  D E L I C I O U S,  I’m still promising that I won’t eat this much from tomorrow but until then I think we should go to the central park, spend some time with Cliffy as it;s beautiful outside, oh and we should get an ice cream too.

17.00pm: Head off to the park, before that we fooled around at the back of the block, posting on snapchat, instagram stories, and just taking silly pictures, little did I know that it would be the last pictures I’d ever have of my little bump. On arrival at the park we walk the whole way through and back, play with Ayan, look for trolls under bridges and for some weird reason just followed Ayan around who had befriended another slightly older toddler who didn’t seem to have any parents with him, yet seemed to enjoy making my son laugh by repeatedly throwing his scooter in the water. Such a strange little moment, boys can be so strange sometimes. Still haven’t got my ice cream, although the boys had theirs, so we decide to head back to where the ice creams are, I carry Ayan most of the way there and just before we get to the ice cream we decide that we must stop at the kids section so that Ayan can go on the slide.

Incoming message on my phone

My doctor had messaged me earlier on asking me how I felt to which I told her that I’d had some contractions, assuming they were Braxton hicks, I took some Magnesium B6 and they calmed down, apart from that I felt as awesome as an 8 month pregnant woman can feel and that everything is good. According to my Doctor she didn’t trust me and she had weird gut feelings so she expected me to be at the hospital in 30 minutes. What?! Sounds a bit worrying, but my doctor is amazing and surely just wants to double and triple check everything is okay, I mean it is a Saturday evening and she could be doing something else. So I tell Mihai that we must leave the park immediately, drop Ayan at his mother’s and make our way to the clinic. Probably the funniest moment of the whole day, Mihai’s face and his denial, at some point I felt that I’d have to drag him out that park he was THAT frightened and in denial and soooo didn’t want me to give birth. Anyways skipping Mihai’s panic attack we head towards the hospital ->

19.00pm: From this point onwards everything seems to be a retrospective blur. Enter clinic. Climb up onto the table, an assistant says to me how do I not feel that I am in labour as she can see my tightenings through my dress. Excuse me? I still feel nothing. I look over to Mihai who looks like he will pass out at any moment and don’t say anything, except for deny any pain of course. Doctor does the scan, I’m definitely having contractions and they are about 6 minutes apart. Ok? The scan shows that I have barely any water left, and that baby has almost no water at it’s head…time for a slight panic. Doctor cannot believe that my waters have broken and I never called her. That is NO THANKS TO MIHAI. So the day before I had some discharge that was so fluid and water like I wasn’t sure if I had peed myself but Mihai kept saying that it was just end of pregnancy discharge, now I have nooo idea why I listened to him. Of course baby is not in position and is transverse, I have no water left. Time for the internal check. Oh I’m 2 and a half centimetres dilated already. Well this baby is coming and it’s coming soon. Mihai gets sent home by my doctor to collect my stuff, we have somehow been communicating through telepathy all this time as if I recall correctly we never really exchanged a word with each other but for sure we knew what each other were thinking, we just kept looking at each other, it all seemed quite the shock. I in the meantime get whisked upstairs, stripped naked quicker than I can blink, hospital gown on and told to lie down. Yet another assistant cannot understand why I’m not feeling my contractions, now that I’m lying down and looking at them I can almost literally see them and I can definitely feel them, oh wait, now I feel it, they may be just slightly painful.

… no idea what time it was: I’ve been moved to the operation room, I’m starting to panic as Mihai is not here yet although my Doctor keeps reassuring me that she won’t start without him being there. Oh great, he’s here now and all of a sudden in all my shock I notice that not only is my  husband and my doctor there, but there are also ALL the ladies from the previous shift (guess I caught them through shift change over time) and ALL the ladies from the night shift. Plus the assisting surgeon, the anaesthesist, the head anaesthesist nurse, the neonatalog. That is one thing that I will for sure remember, I have NEVER literally, in my life, seen that many people in an operating room. My spinal gets put in blah blah then, I for some reason start to panic, I’m sweating profusely, Mihai is trying to give me a thumbs up from the door for some reason? Okay, that’s my cue to pass out, next thing I know the anaesthesist is telling someone to get Mihai here, My doctor is talking to God knows who, Mihai is there holding my hand, the theatre lights turn on and I feel like a deer in the headlights. I’m lying on my back with someone holding my head down because I’m panicking, the sweetest anaesthesist guy who I’ve managed to fall in love with throughout all this chaos is soaking me in water and all I can think about is how he is ruining my lash extensions, plus the fact he can see my boobs, plus the fact a whole other bunch of people can see my vagigi, plus the fact that I am ABOUT TO THROW UP, trying to tell myself to hold it in. Focus on my dear husband’s hand stroking my hand, try telling my husband I love him the most in the world. Oh wait, nope I’m throwing up all over my anaesthesist. Poor guy. It only happens two more times. They still haven’t reached my uterus yet, why? I don’t think I even want to know, the doctor’s are deep in concentration, and for a still second I admire the way in which they are working together, I have no idea what they are doing but it seems important, they are in silence and for a slight moment all the chaos around me and my panicked thoughts blur out, For a moment it is me, the thud of my heartbeat, the theatre lights and the two doctors working alongside each other in an understood silence. My heartbeat is getting louder and louder in my ears, Mihai is calming me down, I can’t really understand what’s taking so long, but I’ll find out after the surgery.

20.45pm: All of a sudden I feel the interior incision, I’m asking Mihai if he can see the baby yet. Then I hear it, the doctor saying how SHE has the longest eyelashes, someone else said she is the most beautiful baby and then came her sweet, sweet cry. I don’t know what I’m feeling, I’m crying, I’m still in shock yet I am the happiest woman alive. I have so much love for my husband, my newborn child and everyone around me. I’m reliving the ecstasy I felt the first time when I gave birth to the love of my life, little baby Ayan and now I am feeling it again. They’ve taken her to another room to dress her and check her vitals, whilst my doctor is continuing with the operation. She says something to me but I can’t hear her, so many people are saying so many things but all I can hear is the beautiful sound of my baby’s cry next door.

I can’t wait to hold her as soon as I’m out the theatre.

With the funniest memories, the sweetest moment and the most wonderful Doctor’s and medical team. This is how my baby girl – Aryana Lorena Moldovan – was born, Bought into this world on April 1st 2017 @ Clinica Hipocrates, Cluj-Napoca. 

I love you. 

P.s. I never did get that ice-cream.

3 weeks + 3 days
First kiss from Ayan

The first time in mommy’s arms.

Amateur Parents

Can we really say that we ever know a person? A person changes with life events, emotions, hormones, maturity and so many other factors. We as humans are never the same person we were yesterday because we are not robots, whether we are forever changiing for the better or the worst (maybe a bit of both?!). One thing for sure is, that we are always changing. 

A great example of this in my life, was when I became a parent, I truly thought I knew Mihai (my husband), but then again how could I know every part of him? I didn’t know him as a father as he’d never been in played that role before. So when we did finally become parents to our little love, I saw yet another side of him that I’d never seen before, in the link below are just a few things which we learnt about each other POST baby. Some cute, and some not so cute. Every one a learning curve 🙂 Enjoy!

Get to know me REVERSED

Hey guys, so remember when I posted ‘Meet the Moldovans’? If not then click here. Well, so many of you enjoyed it, that I did a R E V E R S E video where Mihai asked me questions and I demonstrated what an awesome wife I am (of course) 🙂 Link is below, it was a laugh to make, and I hope it brings a smile to your face too! Enjoy! Ox.

 

 

Short & Wonderful

It’s a shorter week over here in Romania as yesterday was a religious holiday. So this week will be short (4 days until the weekend, yay!) But in these 4 days I’ve got a lot of catching up to do – I’ll let you know about my last week in a later blog post. So, all the work I didn’t manage to do last week, I have to fit it in this week and fit it in, in 4 days!

So let’s kick some a** this week & make it a short and wonderful week.

But even before all that, coffee first, of course ❤

Wishing all you chocolate lovers a productive day and a kick-ass week.

OXOXOX

Summer vibes in Sibiu 

I sleepily open my eyes, it’s Saturday morning, the weekend is here. The church bells are ringing and little Ayan is curled in a ball dozing away right next to me. Oh how beautiful he is, with his olive skin, carbon black hair, little red cheeks and those little details down to his tiny toes. Babies, the only beings that really are so pure, flawless & beautiful. The sun rays are warming my body through my glass balcony and it’s only 8.30am, my iPhone tells me it is already 24 degrees but will soon be 32degrees maybe hotter..

Crystal clear, without a fluffy white cloud in sight, the sky is the most beautiful azure blue. I’m breathing summer. What shall we do today? Where shall our souls take us? A little road trip maybe? Today we will go to Sibiu. Ayan is stirring, soon he’ll wake up, but yes, today we are going to Sibiu. 

I could tell you all the facts about Sibiu, but for sure you don’t have to join me on the blog to find them as you can find them anywhere on the net. You know what you can’t find on the net? How this beautiful city makes you feel. Do you want to know? Let me tell you…

As you enter the county, the wide spread streets are painted with picturesque terraced houses (a german influenced architecture for sure), each house a different color, but all the same so similiar with little pointy roofs for when the rain falls upon them. You wind down along the quiet peaceful roads until you reach the center. Sibiu Center greets you with towering hotel buildings, the greenest grass, vast ‘piata’s’ with in built water fountains and children running through them, giggling and playing. And as the sound of laughter fills the warm air, I look around me, families, couples, friends, chilling together, drinking iced lemonades, cold frappes, cocktails to cool them down in this sweltering heat. Nearly everyone is eating ice cream, of course, this weather always calls for an ice cream, or multipleWe must get some ice cream too. 

Ice creams in our hands, Ayan’s already beginning to melt down his mouth, we begin to walk, to explore. Somewhere along the way, hours later, day turns into night and the center is suddenly swarming with people, where did they all come from? The air screams excitement, summer, almost like the static electricity that runs through you when you go down a slide. It’s late evening and the open terraces are occupied to the brim with the chatter of people, eating, drinking, smoking, breathing the warm night air. Families are still out with their children and their puppies (summer nights are always endless with no bedtimes right)? 

We have been out the whole day, we are tired and the yellow city lights are bright against the dark night sky. The stars twinkling above us telling us it’s a sign that the day has come to and end and we must leave, but we don’t want to. The excitement turns into agitation, yet still, the love for this city, the vibes in the air overwhelms us and we decide. We will be back. Tomorrow. For Sure. For now, we must rest our souls, ready to explore more of beautiful Sibiu tomorrow.

For now, Goodnight!

See you on the next blog post with a video of the V I B E S going on in this beautiful place!

Chocolate Ice Cream Kisses from Sibiu XOXO

 

 

 The Perfect Potion to create the happy child.

A buddy, a pal, an amigo, a friend, a bestie for life until the very end.

Spend half as much money, twice as much time, sing them a song, or even a nursery rhyme.

A hug when they cry, a soft cuddle whilst they  sleep, kiss their little toes, and tickle those tiny feet.

Hold them in your arms, yet let them run free, exploration of their senses, to smell, touch, feel and see.

Teach them to love, to share and to give, the power of kindness in this world which we live.

Express no posession, just unconditional love, they shall spread their wings wide, like those of a dove.

In times of need and when they cry, keep them close and wipe those tears dry.

Away from the screens, outdoors is more fun, to run and to play in fresh air and the sun.

Grow them and nurture them until the very end, our little angels, a little godsend. 

A pinch of respect, rules and some trust, loyalty and love, happiness is a must. 

Good morals and kindness, empathy too, a good base in life will see them through. 

Now lastly…

A teaspoon of guidance, a cup of delight, add some sweet sugar, a bit of brave spice, mix all of the above and the last bit too, stir it well, through and through, dear parents there you have it, the potion to…the happiest and sweetest child for you! 
Reema Moldovan.