When love isn’t enough.

‘Love is all you need.’ – We commonly grow with this idea that especially where marriage/ partnership/ couple life, is concerned, then love is the answer to everything. In the general sense this is true, if you truly love each other then you’ll get through everything. In another sense this is false. Many of us innocently don’t seem to notice or realise that when falling in love we put so much effort in order to show the other half that we love them, yet when we’ve completed a ‘formality’ e.g. getting married, we forget to put in the effort or we believe that now we are one, surely that is it and we are set for life. Nothing could be more false than this.

I found myself slowly turning from the wife to the room mate. After 2 children, my husband working a hard job and almost 0 help from any exterior resources we found that although our love never died and we still love each other dearly, the spark was fading. We no longer did the intimate things couples do, we no longer took showers together or ate dinners together. We no longer baked together, talked until late hours of the night whilst drinking a glass of wine together (I like sweet, he likes dry and we always used to dispute over which we would drink). We lived in denial like this for maybe a year, slowly, slowly, fading apart, until we were merely co-habiting together. We always messaged each other and kissed each other goodbye, I’m not sure if we were in denial or we both just purely didn’t realise, until the revelation came.

A Saturday morning we went to central park for an ice cream, my daughter was snoozing in her sling whilst my son was playing on the slides with some friends he’d made – he no longer needs or wants us to play or our assistance on things at the park. My husband suggested that we sit on a bench whilst he played and so we did. After we’d sat down I realized that we’d sat so far apart we could have been strangers, even stranger we made NO conversation. I was watching the children play around me, absent mindedly checking my phone and so was he. To my dismay tears bit the back of my eyes as I realised we really didn’t know what to say to each other, we’d forgotten how to make a conversation concentrated on us, unless it was about the children or our plans for the day or something routinal. I think at this point realisation had hit him too as in our awkward silence we fidgeted, each one waiting for the other to speak first.

Anyways, the awkward silence was never broken by one of us, but my son, as we continued our day, I had no idea what was going on in his mind, I mean I didn’t feel like I really knew him anymore, but I knew that I felt heartbroken and full of despair for the rest of the day. Now you see, this is the part where I say it’s love that does truly only matter, he must have been feeling my vibe and my energy or he must have felt the same way as that evening two glasses of wine were waiting for me on the table after the babies had been put to bed. We spoke, we spoke and we spoke. We spoke about all the things that had led us up to this, we spoke about all the changes we had to make and we spoke about how we never dated anymore.

I realised at this point that you should never take it for granted that you’re married or in a long term relationship, you should always treat the person and show them hoe you feel, because we may never know where we’ll be tomorrow, yet we should make the present day a beautiful one, one full of love, it is important to prioritize yourself and your love sometimes, no matter how busy life can get. So from that evening we made a promise to each other. We promised that even if we didn’t get to go out anymore we’d at least do something we loved together at home at least once a week, whatever that may be. It’s important to love, laugh and have fun with your other half, it’s important to reignite the fire every once in a while. It’s important to put the effort in letting them know that you love them. 

So as my mid – week wish to my readers, tell the person you love that you love them, kiss them and enjoy them. Work, money, material and responsibilities are of course important in our lives, yet at the end of the day what is more important when we are old is the sweet memories we will make with our loved ones. Enjoy the rest of your week and don’t forget to enjoy it with your favourite person too, because you know, sometimes, just loving, just ain’t always enough…
                 ⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️❌

 

 

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Turning 24 

This year I turned 24. Somehow I’m still in shock that I’m so ‘old’ on another part I feel as though 24 resembles the end of an ‘era’ to me. I looked back on my birthday and thought of the things that I had accomplished. So far, my family. A happily married mommy of 2 with a dog, a happy home and my lovely car. Material + Emotional achievements. Now from 24 onwards my wishes are to continue being just as happy, to raise my two children to my best ability and most importantly moving onto new things career and education wise. I think for now I have finished with the children and family part of my life and whilst enjoying my housewife/mom life stage I have begun to wonder what I will do next. I have no idea where life will take me, or upon which path I will stumble, for now I will just go with the wind and enjoy the journey.

 Here are a few snaps from my birthday, celebrated intimately at home where everything was done all and completely by my dear mother. 

Walks through the town 

A little picture snap back of a walk through the place I used to call home. It’s not until you live in a fuzzy, polluted ever growing city do you really begin to appreciate the nature you’ve had around you. The salty sea air on your tongue, the greenery amongst the monotonous British architecture and most beautiful of all, the horizon. The point where the Earth meets sky… 

Packing my s*#t

Tomorrow we go to ENGLAND. That therefore means today I’m a headless, exhausted chicken. It’s precisely 23.11pm neaaarly everything is done, hopefully I haven’t forgotten anything, if I have I’ll most likely blame it on my husband because truly, that’s what they’re their for. I still have to tidy up the house, although I did spend the whole day cleaning it in the first place, how does it get so messy?!?! My right boob hurts so I’m praying I don’t get mastitis again. Note to self: must not forget PUMP. 

It’s Aryana’s first flight tomorrow and our first flight as a four, I wonder how it will go? So far, so good, however, ‘the calm before the storm’ keeps running through my head. Anyways I better run and see if I manage to get some sleep. Must wear make up tomorrow so I don’t scare other passengers with my scary eye bags. Must remember pump. Must not panic. Must not try to miss Cliffy every few minutes. Must get at least a couple of hours sleep if I can before I go. 

Oh yeah, the flight is at 6. This should be fun. Catch you later on the blog DEFINITELY with a coffee as I’ll be on the plane. But until then take a browse at my first birthday cake of this year. Those who know me know that I always for some reason without fail end up with more than one cake. This one was from my mini- dinner party at my in laws. Truly spoilt, dinner, cake + present wise. 

Yours truly, momma of 3 who needs to get off her phone and catch some sleep. 

Motherhood Unplugged 

So I’m here again after what seems like an eternity, apologetic and ready to ‘catch-up’ as usual. Or more likely fill you in on all the crazy happening in my life. I would like to pretend I’m sipping a cup of coffee whilst my newborn is napping away and I’ve found an hour from my sweet new mommy #2 life to write this blog post. However, the truth is actually on my way to a check up with my doctor, sitting in the back of the car, making myself extremely nauseous whilst I write this. Anyone else get that? And truth is I’m cranky because I’ve said to myself a thousand times I should write on my blog, but by the time night comes I’m crashed out in bed with my make-up on whilst putting Ayan to sleep. Motherhood. So therefore I can’t wait any longer so I’ll just write in the car and throughout the rest of the day whenever I’m catching 5 minutes to do so. That’s paragraph one done. I’ve arrived, so I’ll save this draft and be back later… 

Back again, finally home, everything is great! Scar is looking good. Aryana is currently burping/vomiting on me whilst I write this, however, before I leave in half an hour to take her for her first check up I would like to finish this post. So let’s see shall we. 

As I was saying, well actually I don’t remember what I was saying, but what I do want to say is that, blogging is something I so love to do, I love to write, write about my life. I love the questions I receive, the insight I give people into my personal life. However, at some point blogging turned into a ‘competition’ for me, I kept following other bloggers, especially ‘mom bloggers’ to catch what ideas they had, to see how they were doing climbing the social ladder. And at some point I noticed a trend. These mothers all seem to have the ‘perfect lives’ with perfect babies that sleep through the night, perfect make-up, perfect hair and perfect white backgrounds for their Insta pics and their vlogs. And whilst all that may be true, it is not achievable – not without a whole lot of stress anyways. I found that at some point I got caught up in some kind of competition, to portray the ‘perfect Insta life too’. Stressing on taking the perfect Instagram picture, stressing on having my make up perfect for a vlog, stressing on writing the perfect blog posts. Making everything seem like my motherhood was easy, smooth and life was bliss. Well it’s not true. My life is bliss, but for all that it is and all that it isn’t. For all that I manage to do and all that I don’t.

If you’re a mother to be, or just another momma following a mommy blogger than please don’t put the expectations on yourself that they seem to lay out for you. I can assure you half these ‘perfect mommies’ have parents, in laws, nannies, cleaners to help them do what they do. Hence the extra time to do all these crafty, Pinterest things that get us feeling like we aren’t doing enough. Admittedly as a mother I have extremely high expectations of myself 99% of the time so I end up joining the Pinterest mommy club, however, it’s not always smooth sailing and there is 1% of the time when I’m a binge eating, tired, stressy mom who feeds my kids chicken nuggets for lunch AND dinner. And I’m going to blog about it. 

Yep that’s right, I want to give a real insight into my REAL life. Not my wannabe Insta mom life that anyways I never can keep up with. I want to show what it’s REALLY like to be a momma with a toddler and a newborn, to be young, full of passions, tired as hell, mostly achieving what I set out to do but everyday for at least a few moments as my husband will tell you… a hot mess. I want to blog the real me. Blog what’s REALLY written in my diary for the day, write about the tantrum Ayan had and although I was a zen mother on the outside I’m crying on the inside. So as of today I’m blogging my life to you, my real life, with all the social media around even being a mother has become a competition and I’m tired of it, so join me on my journey, even if I don’t have fancy Insta pics or if I don’t look like a model everyday or if I write a cranky post, grab a coffee (only one if you’re breastfeeding or pregnant). Because motherhood is fun, it is great, it’s full of ups, but there is also sad times, frustrating times and times of tears. Because this is REAL motherhood, this is… motherhood unplugged. 

SHE’S HERE!

Hey guys! It’s been a crazy long time, like 6 weeks to be exact or something around that right? I know, I know, I know, I’m ALWAYS apologising. However, please hear me out, this time round I have a really good excuse, so here it goes…

Last time on the blog I left you at week 33, with 2-weekly updates on how the pregnancy was going, my workouts, etc. Unfortunately after week 33 apart from severe nesting accompanied by my super bad OCD tendencies, I started suffering severe migraines, so bad that they were effectively ‘paralysing’ me. So for a few weeks I was living in a haze and definitely unable to blog, VLOG or barely look at my phone screen. At week 35 my doctor started me on steroid injections to help with these headaches as they were severely dehabilating and definitely not like me (fortunately headaches is not something I’ve had to suffer from in the past). So I wasn’t feeling so amazing from those anyways…as I finished day 5 of injections with still another 5 days left, I was beginning to wonder if I’d make it through the misery of those damn injections and I started wishing those days would fly by me, well all I gotta say about that is be careful what you wish for…

Fast forward to 1st April, yes, yes I know it’s April fools day, but I am not fooling you, my daughter, yep that’s right I had a BABY GIRL <3, entered my life pulling the biggest prank on me ever! I’ll be writing the full story on the arrival of our little princess on the next blog post, as right now she’s aboout to wake up and I’ve gotta run #momlife. For now, here are a few snaps of her, we are all well over here at casa Moldovan and I can’t wait to be catching up with my blog readers/instagram followers over the coming months!

 

Never giving up! 

So if you want to know something about me, I’m A L W A Y S falling down. If you want to know something more important about me? I’m A L W A Y S picking myself up! Today I’ve got a little motivational vlog post for you guys, check it out! 

Hugs always, and don’t forget to stay motivated!  ⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️ 

https://youtu.be/yMuU7Jvzmd8



Welcome to Monday, would you like Sugar, Cream or Valium in your coffee? 

E V E R Y O N E  I know hates Monday’s. I don’t hate Mondays. I love Monday’s. You want to know why? 

M O N D A Y is the first day of the week, a brand new & shiny week. A fresh start, a new beginning, a day to start something new. A chance to start all over again. We all slip up, whether it’s a gym regime, diet plan, work load, a family situation, some days and some weeks & some months it just doesn’t work out. Nevertheless that should not stop us from trying. 

T H E R E F O R E to me Monday is a day to pick yourself up, start all over again. Forget the failures of last week, embrace the achievements, start again, persevere and do what you do best. Be You.  

Monday is a ‘S T A R T I N G  P O I N T’ a nearer starting point for a fresh start, who cares if every Monday is a fresh start (it is for me) all that matters is that you get to your final destination. You only get 52 Chances a year! 

O U R  H A P P I N E S S  is reflected by the energy inside us, an optimistic outlook on life reflects the positive energy we are withholding on the inside. Our daily lives are the consequences to our actions, easy or hard, you will surely arrive where you would like to be. 

So whilst you’re sipping your Monday morning coffee, think about how you will start your week to carry that positive vibe with you, what would you like to achieve by the end of your week? And whilst you’re coming back to reality after your weekend you will see below I have included some ‘New Beginning’ quotes which I found and I’m reading whilst I drink my Monday morning coffee, there’s so much I would love to achieve and these beautiful quotes spur me to do so! 

Merry Miserable Monday ( just kidding ) 
MRS. M