Should we forget ourselves when we become mothers? 

#4

Somtimes as mothers, we get so lost in ‘being mothers’ that we completely forget to take care of ourselves. We get lost in the whirlwind  of making sure our little loved ones have all their needs met, that they are forever first on our priority list and we truly forget that we are human beings also, that albeit few, may have needs too.

The ability to put your children before you in every way is one of the most beautiful abilities a woman can have, not only does it mean that you are a selfless, loving and nurturing soul, but it also means that your children are lucky to have such a personality as a role model in life. However (there always is a ‘however’), maybe as mothers’ we never realise that sometimes forgetting about ourselves and who we are as an individual can have a negative effect on our children too.

I believe ever so strongly that in order to make others happy around us, we must truly be happy and fulfilled within ourselves – I believe this even more so when it comes to our children. I want to make mothers out there realise that, being a mother and being YOU although can be mixed are two separate parts of life, one dependant on the other. A happy and fulfilled you, automatically makes a happy and positive mother. I came to learn this with my own personal experience as a first time mother with my wonderful baby boy…

…At some point in his first year of life I lost myself and I thought I could only be a great mother if it was all about him. I for sure didn’t do anything for me as I would be overpowered with feelings of guilt and would feel selfish. How dare I do something for myself? As you read this I am sure a lot of you can relate to these feelings, especially as first time mothers. In time I came to realise that in my goal of being the ‘perfect mother’, I was actually making myself miserable because I was losing myself and if I was miserable my little baby was only soaking up these emotions and for sure it could only have negatively affected him, feeling his mother so frustrated (never underestimate your child, they feel EVERYTHING).

So after he was a year old and I realised that my initial supermom tactics weren’t working I decided to take another route, I started doing little things here and there that made ME happy, they didn’t have to be time consuming, just little things that I could identify ME with, such as, getting my nails done, taking 20 minutes in the morning to actually do my make-up, making myself my favourite breakfast on the weekend instead of just eating leftovers etc. you see, making yourself happy doesn’t mean getting a pamper session at a spa every day of the week, but instead, remembering who you are and the things you like the most and trying to incorporate them into your everyday life. Sure enough I started being a much more happier and fulfilled version of myself and I saw a much happier and fulfilled baby as a reflection of my actions.

Our children are our mirrors, a reflection of our innermost feelings because long before they can even speak they can pick up on how we are feeling internally, so use your children as an indicator of the vibes which you may be giving out.

If you’ve ever travelled by plane before you’ll know that they state, in case of emergency, always fit YOUR oxygen mask first and only THEN proceed to helping your child/children. Do you know why they do that? Because in this scenario unless you are breathing well first you cannot help your children to fit the oxygen masks and enable them to breathe safely too. You must take care of yourself first in order to be able to care for your little loved ones. And yes, that does apply to every day life.

So remember doing little things or making little changes, starting from pregnancy and throughout the rest of your childrens’ lives can make the biggest difference in all of your lives. So throughout the Pregnancy Diaries I will be posting all kinds of little tips on what I do to make myself the happiest mother, whether that includes eating well, organisation skills, family activities, all the little components of every day, that add up to make our life. YOUR LIFE, so live it well, full of positive energy and happy vibes!

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